I’m back. Christmas was a flood of meeting up with people
and I did hardly any work. Fortunately I’d done so much work during term time,
I felt like I’d earned a break and in many ways it did me a lot of good. I was
lucky enough to go to France and spend Christmas with my granddad. French
Christmas is a little different but it was great to shake things up a bit and
try new things.
So that 2 week blog schedule I said I’d adhere to after
Christmas. Aha yeah…I also said I’d focus on time management. But seriously, I've realized lately how much I get in my own way, tripping over my own thoughts and neuroses. I’m going to start using
this blog to reflect on my insanity because if I perceive it as insane; I
probably don’t understand it well enough. But I think I now truly understand the purpose of this blog.
'Build a self-evaluation loop into your life. If you don’t periodically review your actions, and how they’ve turned out, and your decision making process. There is no hope for your life to improve other than by random chance.' – CGPGrey
What follows is probably the most ridiculous excuse for not sticking to a blog schedule you've ever encountered.
This post breaks the cycle; hence the title, of Informal > Formal posts that I'd subconsciously created for myself. I became aware of it and decided it was positive and 'structured'. It took a lot to convince myself it was destructive and completely irrational.
This post breaks the cycle; hence the title, of Informal > Formal posts that I'd subconsciously created for myself. I became aware of it and decided it was positive and 'structured'. It took a lot to convince myself it was destructive and completely irrational.
Another pattern I realized I gravitated to in my writing is trying very hard to break paragraphs into sets of 3. Even if it compromises content. And I will put a serious amount of energy into trying to stick to these patterns, even if I can't justify any real reason.
Breaking these patterns makes me uncomfortable to the point I allowed A Brief History of Games, Part
III to clog my blog pipeline. Because I wanted to write it next. But not enough
to actually write it. And it should never have been a priority in the first
place. These mental conflicts are the enemy of productivity and it’s high time
I stopped letting them beat me.
As a replacement for Part III; in case you were looking forward to it, here is something on a similar theme from Scroobius Pip. Much better than a boring blog post!
Soar Point Final.
To this:
Train Station Final.
But then a talk with Chris Wright
clarified my understanding of the project and inspired me to draw my own
conclusions and ignore my concern for being wrong. I switched my destructive goal
on speed to a focus on artistic expression. Because it’s a storyboard project
and that made sense to me. The last week of the project was inspired. And by that I
mean it was genuinely no longer a mental struggle to sit in the cold and draw.
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