Sunday, 26 January 2014

Breaking the Cycle.

I’m back. Christmas was a flood of meeting up with people and I did hardly any work. Fortunately I’d done so much work during term time, I felt like I’d earned a break and in many ways it did me a lot of good. I was lucky enough to go to France and spend Christmas with my granddad. French Christmas is a little different but it was great to shake things up a bit and try new things.

So that 2 week blog schedule I said I’d adhere to after Christmas. Aha yeah…I also said I’d focus on time management. But seriously, I've realized lately how much I get in my own way, tripping over my own thoughts and neuroses. I’m going to start using this blog to reflect on my insanity because if I perceive it as insane; I probably don’t understand it well enough. But I think I now truly understand the purpose of this blog.


'Build a self-evaluation loop into your life. If you don’t periodically review your actions, and how they’ve turned out, and your decision making process. There is no hope for your life to improve other than by random chance.' – CGPGrey

What follows is probably the most ridiculous excuse for not sticking to a blog schedule you've ever encountered

This post breaks the cycle; hence the title, of Informal > Formal posts that I'd subconsciously created for myself. I became aware of it and decided it was positive and 'structured'. It took a lot to convince myself it was destructive and completely irrational.

Another pattern I realized I gravitated to in my writing is trying very hard to break paragraphs into sets of 3. Even if it compromises content. And I will put a serious amount of energy into trying to stick to these patterns, even if I can't justify any real reason.

Breaking these patterns makes me uncomfortable to the point I allowed A Brief History of Games, Part III to clog my blog pipeline. Because I wanted to write it next. But not enough to actually write it. And it should never have been a priority in the first place. These mental conflicts are the enemy of productivity and it’s high time I stopped letting them beat me.

As a replacement for Part III; in case you were looking forward to it, here is something on a similar theme from Scroobius Pip. Much better than a boring blog post!

DJ Yoda featuring Scroobius Pip - Sega RIP.



Taking this self-reflective approach to my Art allowed me to go from this: 


Soar Point Final.

To this:

Train Station Final.


In a week. 

When we were set the project, I lost my head and hated myself for it. But I turned it around and really learned from it!

I saw 144 sketches and 12 finals in 2 weeks. On top of: Game Production, Critical Studies, Blogs, Personal Work…Life. And it broke me. The first week of work I produced was repellent because I made it all about speed. All intelligent thought went flying out the window and it showed through in my work.


But then a talk with Chris Wright clarified my understanding of the project and inspired me to draw my own conclusions and ignore my concern for being wrong. I switched my destructive goal on speed to a focus on artistic expression. Because it’s a storyboard project and that made sense to me. The last week of the project was inspired. And by that I mean it was genuinely no longer a mental struggle to sit in the cold and draw.

Canal Final.

I’m beginning to really appreciate just how much thought and intelligent design goes in to a piece of art. This week I had a genuinely mind blowing conversation with one of our lecturers, Mitch Small and he introduced me to art theory. Following this conversation my interest in art has increased tenfold. I've begun to gain an understanding of why art appeals to me. In an hour. It set my brain on fire.

I recognize that it’s possible to expose yourself to too much information too quickly but I can’t get enough of it. Learning how to process and apply it effectively is now my focus. All while not ruining my life. 

Turns out learning can be extremely addictive. So the next post will probably be the most exciting blog ever about time management. See you there.





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